When someone that means so much to you leaves this world it can be a heartbreaking experience. Dealing with the grief after such a loss is even more trying. We do not realize the pain and suffering death causes us until it happens to someone we love. We then come to realize that our loved one is really gone and the agony is sometimes too difficult to bear. There are five stages in the grieving process. There are many ways that a human being copes with death but all are very similar. Here are those five grieving steps and some advice on how to get to that final stage.
“Tears are the silent language of grief…” – Voltaire
Denial is the first stage of grief. This is the point in time where we are in complete shock and are not willing to admit to ourselves that the person we have lost is truly gone. Some become truly numb of the idea till it is all over. You may not be ready at this point to accept sympathy from others as you are simply unable to believe it is true. The best thing you can do is accept this love and sympathy and let people in.
“There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery.” – Dante
Bargaining is the next step in the grieving process. This is the time where we begin to delve deep into our own minds and souls to search for what could have been done to prevent such a loss. Many times we start to blame ourselves and if this does not get resolved we can soon start to feel guilt and even depression. This is the time where you want to keep good friends close, talk to them about their experiences with loss and be assured that there was nothing you could have done.
“Excessive sorrow laughs. Excessive joy weeps.” – William Blake
Depression is what comes next if we do not handle the previous stage properly. It sinks in finally how devastating the loss is, and we simply cannot bear it.
“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
Anger is when we begin to feel powerless and hopelessness. We may become angry at God or the loved one that is gone. It is okay to be angry. Be yourself and do not let anyone tell you differently.
“If you cannot be the poet, be the poem.” – David Carradine
Acceptance is the point in time when we finally accept our loss and begin to move on with our lives. In some ways we must experience all the above before we can truly accept the devastation.
Losing a loved one can be very painful. But if we allow ourselves to feel what we feel it is much easier to heal. Be yourself and surround yourself with love so you can then begin to be happy again.
Category: Culture , General